i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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