it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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