There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I understand Curling. That high.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
