I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
