Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
