He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
