Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
