that's an acceptable place to lick
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
