I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I know her cup size but not her name....
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize