well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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