Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Girls should come with a carfax report
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
