Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
