after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
