mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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