Umm I'm too high to move.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize