More tranny stories later!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Even my vagina gasped.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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