Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
