East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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