I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
