Christians are straight up FREAKS
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
