So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
