..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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