Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
