I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
