its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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