I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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