I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
