dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
