How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
me + whiskey = a bad person
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Terrible idea I love it
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
