Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
