Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I forget how to act sober
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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