he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just cut my nipple shaving
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
