just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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