So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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