Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
