She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
