The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
