You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
