Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
