you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
