Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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