What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
