I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
