update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
