Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
im about as happy as oj after his trial
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
