How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
whose parrot is this?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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