Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just invented taco cereal.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
