At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize