Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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