Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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