I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
