you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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