Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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