Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
