hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
