i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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