Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
