What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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