Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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