I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
