I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
