Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
