You're so nebulous sometimes
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
