i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
