....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
im having a threesome with these popsicles
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
