it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
