I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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